Grandmother

My mother died 15 years ago this weekend. It was Easter weekend and the day before my parents would have celebrated their 41 wedding anniversary. My mother wanted to be a grandmother so bad. One year before she died she got her wish when my oldest nephew was born. It makes me sad to think that she missed getting to be with and know all 8 (soon to be 9) of her grandchildren.

I look at Lauren and I think it is so unfair that she does not have grandparents. (My father died last year.) She deserves to have grandparents. All kids deserve to have extended families including grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. I feel bad that she won't be able to really know what it is like to have loving grandparents.

My mother died when she was only 59. That age seems younger and younger as I get older. I think she would have loved Lauren and would have been proud that she was her granddaughter.

Before my parents had my older sister they were trying to adopt. They had been married 7 years before they were able to have a child. They wanted children and they thought if adoption was the they were going to have children that would be fine. They put in their paperwork to adopt and were ready to go forward when they finally were able to have a child.

I know my mother would have had no problems that one of her grandchildren was adopted. I don't think it would have made one difference to her.

I am lucky that I have this child in my life, I just feel bad that she did not get to know her grandmother.

We went to their grave a few weeks before Easter and brought new spring flowers and some Easter eggs and an Easter bunny. I tell Lauren about them and I try to keep them in our lives but it is hard for a 4 year to understand.


(These pictures were taken this weekend while Lauren was trying to help around the house. I only let her wear flip flops around the house or on Fridays when she does not have school. Otherwise she will start to complain about them hurting between the toes.)