Gotcha Day plus 4 years!!

I can't believe that it has been 4 years since Lauren and I became a family. At times it feels like just yesterday I was in China and then when I look at her and see how she has grown it seems like we have been a family forever.

I thought I would give my recollection of the day I received Lauren.

My sister and I left LA for Guangzhou on Aug. 8, 2004 at 11:59pm. On that flight there were a few other families that were also adopting. I had gotten to know a few of these families during the wait through a few of the yahoo chat lines. It was nice to finally put a face with some the names. On the flight we were in the business section so we had a bit more leg room but it was still a long flight. We did get some sleep but didn't eat much. We landed in China at about 6:00 am on August 10. It was a bit strange to think it was Tuesday and we had been on the plane for all of Monday. Our guides met us at the airport and took us to the White Swan Hotel located on the Shamian Island. I had heard so much about the White Swan and all the shops around it during my wait. It was neat to finally see it in person.

There were 35 families getting children in Guangzhou from the agency I used. They divided us into 3 groups based on the SWIs the children were from. This was also a way for us to know what bus to get on while we were in China. The group I was in was the children were from 4 or 5 different SWIs. Again, this was the group we would travel with when we went out on outings and to different appointments. Most of the SWIs were quite far from where we were staying so going to the SWIs were not part of the plan. Someday I do hope to travel there with Lauren.

We arrived at the White Swan at about 7:30am. Our rooms were not ready yet so we meet briefly and that was just to let us know the schedule for the day. We were then free to go and eat breakfast and then we were going to meet again in about a few hours. Janine and I decided to and eat breakfast at the buffet. This is where we would eat breakfast for the next two weeks. It was a great buffet with a good mix of western and Chinese foods. It was very good and the coffee was also really good.

After our breakfast we went back and meet with our groups. Our meeting was in the Mattel playroom. It was fun to see the room again since I had heard so much about it before getting there. At the meeting they gave some of us updated information on our little girls. I was one of the lucky ones and got some updated information. She had gotten bigger and I was a bit worried that the clothes I brought her would not fit. We were told to meet back at 2:00 pm to go to the Civil Affairs Office to receive the babies.

Our rooms were ready and we went up there to unpack and rest. We got to the room and there in the room was a little crib. It was starting to become very real that I was about to be a mother. Something that I thought would never happen was about to happen. I took a shower and tried to rest but I was way to anxious. So I decide to go out and walk around Shamian Island where the White Swan is located. I walked out of the hotel and about died. I had never been in such heat and humid except in a sauna. I kid you not, I thought something was wrong, it was so miserable. I decided to go and look at the stores that I had heard so much about. My mind was not on shopping but on what was going to happen in a few hours. I am not sure what I did for the next few hours but I know that I was there at 2:00pm with the diaper backpack and the gifts ready.

We got back on our buses and headed for the Civil Affairs Office. This was a short bus ride and our guide explained that when we get there to go to the 4th floor. We were told that the girls were not use to the cold air conditioning and that we should keep then in warm clothes in the hotel. We were also told that we would be given some formula that the SWI was using. We got to the building and we were waiting for the elevator and I was so scared and excited and nervous and happy and etc. I did have a moment of panic and thought what am I doing? I remember thinking I can walk out this door right now and go home but I knew I would never do that, I had a daughter waiting for me a few floors up.

We got off the elevator and there was a bunch of nannies sitting with little girls on their laps. I saw Lauren at the end of the bench and I told Janine, that is her right there. Janine was not such but I was. She looked a bit sad and a bit scared. We went in a room and they started to call our names. I am not sure if I was the 3rd or 4th called but soon she was in my arms. She did not cry and she seemed a bit in shock. We had a chance to talk very briefly with the nannies and get our family picture taken. Lauren kept falling asleep and I had to wake her up. Later during the week we noticed that during stressful times she would fall asleep. We realized that this was the way she dealt with stress.

A few hours later we went back to the hotel and ordered room service for dinner and got out some toys for her play. I feed her a bottle and some rice cereal which she seemed to like. She was so scared and didn't seem to know what to do with the toys. We played with her for a while and then I had to go and fill out some paperwork for the next day. Lauren stayed with Janine. I had noticed some sores on her head and after I finished the paperwork I took her to the clinic. The doctor cleaned out the sores and I put Lauren in some new pjs and she was ready for bed. She didn't cry that much that night and pretty much went right to sleep. I think that she was stressed, frightened and didn't know what to think. That night she slept for a long time. I sleeped with her in my bed for part of the night and put her in the crib during the night. She didn't wake up until after 7:00am the next morning, I on the other hand was awake a lot of the night making sure she was ok.

What a wonderful day Aug 10, 2004 was. I love to think back on that day and remember it in my mind. If I could have one wish, I would wish for the chance to live that day again. I would enjoyed the moment so much more but I was so scared and in control that I didn't take the time to just relax and have fun that day. I can't wait to take Lauren back to China someday and show her the places that mean so much to me.

Today we celebrated the day by going to church and then going out to lunch. I gave Lauren a locket with a picture of her when she was a baby and one of us together. This was also a joint present for her first day of kindergarten which is tomorrow.

Dear Lauren:

I wish I could put in words how much I love you and how much you mean to me. You are the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep. My life revolves around you and I love that. You are the best thing that every happened to me.

I have told you so many times that God matched us perfectly. You and I both agree that we make a great family. I love that you are my daughter and I love being your mom. When I think back on the pictures that I received on June 7, 2004 and then when you were placed in my arms I would never have thought that I could love you with the depth of the love I have for you.

There are times during the day that I have to pull out a picture of you just to get my Lauren fix.

I love you.

Mommy