This is the referral picture that I received of Lauren. I love how her toes are curled. Lauren still does that. It is so cute that she did that then and still does.
Here is my wonderful girl today. She is full of life and I just love her.
Four years ago today I received my referral for Lauren. It seems a lifetime ago and at times it feels like yesterday.
I knew that I was getting my referral sometime that week because all the yahoo lines had talked about the referrals coming and they were pretty much right on target. The talk had started the week before and it was pretty certain it would be on Monday or Tuesday. I had thought about it all weekend and I excited and a bit scared. This is back when CCAA were doing pretty big referrals so I knew I would be in the group.
Monday morning I remembering sitting at my desk at work and reading that some referrals were coming in. It was such a weird feeling that in a few hours I would know a little about my daughter. I had not told many people at work that I was adopting so I was waiting at my desk without anyone in the office knowing what was happening to me that day. I remember being so nervous that whole morning. I was e-mailing other families that were expecting referrals it was an exciting and strange day. I can’t explain the feeling of knowing that you were going to find out about your child for the first time. This is the child you had already bought a ton of clothes for and that you had decorated the room for and have a ton of toys for and have dreamed about and thought about for a year. Yet you know nothing about the child.
Then the word came:
YES, you are in the group. JUST found out her name and dob and that is all they have translated on yours right now. Everyone is getting restless so they are doing this part below right now.
NAME:Lei Qing Rong
d.o.b. June 27, 2003
GuangDong Province (southern tip of China)
There is a long story on why it was e-mailed but what I do remember is that I just stared at the words on my computer. I didn’t know how to feel. I was a little disappointed that she was not younger but it seemed so unreal and so strange. I didn’t have a connection to the name and really didn’t feel anything but being numb. Now when I look at these words I see Lauren but then I didn’t know what to expect.
At that time our agency didn’t e-mail pictures so I had to wait until the next day before I got pictures. That night I remember wondering what she looked like. Would I fall in love with her? Would I think she was the cutest baby ever? It was a strange night. I do remember going shopping and buying her a few new outfits. But mostly I remembering being so scared about what she would look like.
The packet came to my work the next day and I remember the receptionist bring the FedEx package to me. I saw the return address was Children’s Hope International and I knew that it was the information on my daughter. I was shaking when I opened the package and took out all the papers. I remember getting the pictures and again not knowing what to think. I didn’t fall in love with the pictures however, now when I look at them I don’t understand why I didn’t. She was very cute in the pictures and I should have been over the top in love but I was still so in shock I could not process the whole thing.
I did show her to some of the people in my office and I sent out a message letting people know. The next day they had a party for me and I told the rest of the office. I think I really shocked a lot of people with my news.
As I stated above I was disappointed with her age. This was for a couple of reasons. First, I wanted a really young baby because I wanted a baby. I thought that because she was almost one she would not be a baby anymore and that she would be walking and feeding herself and all that. I was also worried that the clothes that I bought her would not fit her (6 to 9 month size) and second, I wanted to see her turn one. Boy was I wrong on all accounts. Lauren was a baby. She was not walking, in fact she was not even crawling. She was not feeding herself at all she was still eating number 2 baby food. And she was small. The clothes fit her perfect (if not a little big). Although I missed her first birthday I got to see a lot of firsts. I got to see her crawl, stand, walk, feed herself a bottle, start to feed herself food. I got to hear her first sounds and first words. I got to see her learn to play with toys. I got to see her hair grow out. It is funny to look at her now because her hair is so long and thick and beautiful but when I got her she had hair that was about ½ inch. She has a very large head so it looked a bit odd.
That day 4 years ago was a great day and I love to think about. There are many times I pull up that old e-mail and remember that day. I am so lucky that I got this little girl. She is a perfect fit with me and my family. She is the best thing that ever happened to me and I love her so much.
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